Showing posts with label humorous romance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humorous romance. Show all posts

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Way to Roll by Mandy Colton (review, excerpt and GIVEAWAY) GFT






by Mandy Colton

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GENRE:  Romance (humorous)

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BLURB:

Secure your seat belt and get ready for another bumpy ride.

Veronica Lane never considered her life dull as a single woman working in the travel industry as a sales representative—not until one bad day ends in the loss of her dream job, and desperation leads her to Cavalcade Tours. The fun quickly turns into chaos and eyebrow-raising questions. Disaster leads to a shocking revelation leaving Veronica disgruntled and unsure if she has what it takes to begin a whole new career.

Some time away, deep thought, and her own misadventures have her gathering up the remains of her dignity and returning to her job with its interesting group of colorful and charismatic cohorts...with one big change. She’ll no longer just be a tour escort this time. Milton Porter, the owner of Cavalcade Tours, owns another company with secrets.

With her mind made up, new skills, passport in hand, and her bags packed, Veronica is ready to roll out for new destinations. Things get hairy as she tackles the dual roles her new job demands, dodging wild animals, nasty foes, and sometimes even the new men in her life.

Surrounded by kooky tourists, Veronica’s adventures place her in some dramatic and hilarious situations, and each return home to Peachtree City, Georgia has its own drama with her family of oddballs, nutty bunch of friends, and their pets. Her new life is sometimes bumpy and filled with turbulence, but it stays an intriguing and exciting ride.

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EXCERPT:

Interesting Office Meetings

Everyone was in house today after taking a little break from the last couple of missions. There were eight of us currently that made up Cavalcade and WIC. Besides Nash, Silas, Milton, Judy, and me, there was Django—another tour-guide-turned-amateur-spy—Jeff, and Megan. Milt had ordered us all subs and salads from a nearby Italian place that he and Judy, our Italian office manager and meatball authority, had recently found and approved. We were talking and chatting while eating, and as usual, Jeff was fiddling with a gadget.

Jeff Pruitt was the youngest in the group. Milt had taken him under his wing when Jeff’s father was killed while on a mission in the Army. Jeff was young, kind of shy, liked to tell little corny jokes, and was a genius with a love of gadgets from the James Bond movies. The character, Q, was his idol, and I’d dubbed him Q’ute not long ago, after remembering the name from an old Bond book, and the fact that Jeff himself was a total cutie-pie. I just hadn’t told him that the Q character in E that particular book had been a woman.

Milton took a bite of his sub, coughed, and pounded his chest for a few seconds. He took a big drink of his soda and then began talking. “First thing. We’ve hired two new tour guides. One will take a tour with Ronni in two days for training, and the other guy will start about a month from now. He’s taking a holiday before he starts with us. Ronni, you and the new gal are taking a week-long Pacific trek tour with a group of eighteen by coach from Frisco, and that includes, Nash.”

Uh, shit. That was a pretty good-sized group and the most I’d have so far with the company. And what did he mean by trek tour?

Milton put his fist to his mouth to cover a small burp and held his stomach for a minute. He began talking again. “Silas and Djang...urp.” He had just burped Django’s name and now we were all looking at him with raised eyebrows.

“Sorry, kids. Guess these spicy meatballs aren’t agreeing with me today.” Clearing his throat, he continued. “Let me go back to Ronni and Nash’s trip. We’re looking for a homegrown terrorist’s new camp in the Pacific Northwest. He’s a militia leader and extreme activist, left over from the Aryan group that was taken down in Idaho a while back. He’s taken credit for more than one murder just recently and is considered extremely hostile and dangerous.”

Milton shifted in his chair and we heard a fluttery phoot sound. He shrugged his shoulders and made a face like he was trying to play it off. “’Scuse me again,” he then joked, “I’ll uh...be sure and split before a ‘head call’ is necessary.”

Nash and Silas chuckled as Judy wrinkled her nose and made a face. Then she got up, mumbling something about taking care of Milton’s ass—literally—and headed out the door. I hoped she was getting an antacid or something for him. He looked a little uncomfortable.

I looked over at Jeff who was still playing with his little boxy looking gadget. “Whatcha got there, Q’ute?” Megan snorted and shook her head. “Q’ute? I am not calling him that. I’d rather eat a bug.”

Jeff beamed, ignoring her, and said, “It’s a homing pill detector. It’s new. I mean it’s old, but I just got it.”

I nodded. “Really? What exactly does it do?”

“It’s really just an old GPS detector. The homing pill is a small capsule with GPS software in it,” he said enthusiastically.

“They still make those? GPS pills?”

“Don’t know yet. Some came with it. I’m testing it now,” he said, still tinkering with the thing.

Milton had been looking back and forth between us and was now furiously wiggling in his chair. Judy walked in with a bottle of antacid and handed it to him. No sooner than Milton closed his hand over the bottle, he let go a shocking string of methane that could prompt the federal government to put aside its study of the effects of all bovine gas on the environment to launch a new study program based on just one human butt. Judy wrinkled her brows and snatched the bottle back in disgust.

She squeezed her nose and grumbled, “Definitely the wrong bottle, oaf.” Then she left the room again, cursing under her breath.

Django was looking at his food with a frown on his face. “Milton, my friend. I’m sorry, but I have to ask an important question. I’m also eating a meatball sub. Does this...um...occur every time you order this item from that place? I have a special date with my sweetheart tonight, and such a malady would greatly diminish my chances of a happy outcome.”

Everyone, including Milton, burst out laughing at Django’s concern. Django Rockes was a Cavalcade tour guide and our resident Romani gypsy—or, at least, that was his shtick. He had a big personality and drove a brightly colored van that reminded me of the Scooby Doo Mystery Machine. He was also Judy’s boyfriend; they were definitely an interesting pair.

Before poor Milton had a chance to answer Django, his chair vibrated again. Another long, loud, obnoxious squeak, and seemingly endless squeal, ending in a “wheezy” sound came from his end of the table. Being that the chairs were leather, the sound was just amplified to a ridiculous level and musical note. This of course, made everyone at the table immediately erupt into guffaws; even Milton was wide-eyed, shaking his head and grinning in disbelief at his own unusual theatrics.

Turning my head, I watched as Jeff aimed his gadget at Milton. I was beginning to fear that there was a connection between the gadget and Milton’s malady. Jeff had used Milton as a test subject before in this very room, so I asked him, “You said that you were testing your new gadget. How, exactly?”

Jeff looked up and smiled. “Oh, right. Some of the old capsules came with it. I put one in Milt’s meatball. I was gettin’ a pretty good reading at first. Now it’s like the target is on the move.”

Nash, Silas, and Megan, burst out into hysterical laughter. I put my fist over my mouth trying hard to hold mine back. I swear Milton’s eyes crossed for a few seconds and his chest visibly moved as he took a few deep breaths like he was trying to maintain his calm. It was pretty sobering watching him slowly stand while leveling a glare at Jeff. Uh oh. “Kid, I got one question before I have to run. Please tell me there’s no damn radioactive material involved this time?”

Jeff shook his head. “Aw, heck no, Milt. That wouldn’t be right.”

Milton did about half an eye roll and nodded before bolting for the door.

That left us all chuckling, except for Django, who said, “Jeff, my boy. I need to verify that you only used the one pill and Milton was the only recipient. My woman is very calculated and demanding. Tonight will be our third venture into the art of the Kama Sutra. It is the night of the posture of the apes in the third month of spring.”

Most of us raised our eyebrows, and continued to snicker. Megan said, “Agh…gross!”

Jeff just looked at Django, kind of confused for a few seconds, and then seemed to acknowledge the real question and answered. “Oh, um… I did put one other one in a meatball. You guys grabbed them up so fast that I lost track of where that one went.”

I was still ruminating over Django’s plans for the evening and opened my stupid mouth without thinking. “What does the posture of the apes in the third month of spring even mean?”

When Judy walked through the door, Django looked at her with desire in his eyes and kind of chuffed at her, ending with a little wink. Then he looked at me and smiled, shrugged, and said, “Hmm. Picture the magnificent gorilla, rather than the dog.” Uh...okay? He got up out of his chair and humped over, bending at the knees, arms out, and neck jutting forward. “The natural stance is in a half-erect posture and includes the use of the hands and knees to thrust, thrust, thrust forward; like this.” He made a grabbing motion with his hands and mimicked a pelvic thrust.

I jumped when he started with the sound effects. “Uh...uh...hoo...hoo...ooooooh!”

Okay, I was with Megan on this one. The visual along with the sounds made me kind of want to gag right then myself. Silas and Nash were, of course, almost lying on one another swiping at their eyes, they were laughing so hard.

Just as Django finished his demonstration, Judy belched and made a face, and then her eyes got big and she turned tail to flee the room. Unfortunately, she didn’t make it in time. Before the door closed, her backside backfired at the exact same time the glass door hit her in the butt causing a weird thundering vibration like sound. I glanced at Django, and he had paled considerably. That was even before the smell wafted through the room. Megan and I looked over at Nash and Silas, who were red-faced and wheezing now, gasping for breath. Yeesh. They reminded me of my dad and stupid brother.

Jeff had a sheepish look on his face. He said, “Guess those capsules are a little on the expired side and being voided. I should have done more research before the test, huh?”

That did it. Nash and Silas fell out of their chairs and disappeared under the table, exploding with a mixture of mirth and tears, rolling around on the floor like idiots. Megan grabbed her nose, and got up while making odd snarling noises at Jeff. She stomped out, waving her other hand in front of her to clear the way and cursing under her breath.

Amazon link

Books available on Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble.com, Books-A-Million.com
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AUTHOR Bio and Links:



Mandy Colton is from Louisville, KY, and lives a very quiet life with her husband and teenage son. A fan of romance, fun adventure, drama, humor, and on occasion sci-fi stories. The idea for the Way to Go series came from her years, own adventures and experiences working in the travel industry.

Most of the experiences that plague her heroine, Veronica Lane, actually happened to her or someone she knows. The circumstances were sometimes not nearly as glamorous and are embellished some in the books. 
She claims that working in the travel business could be horribly stressful but equally laugh-out-loud funny at times. Along the way she met many interesting people all over the world, and enjoyed many priceless and comical experiences with those people, her groups, friends, and peers. Even her clients shared humorous adventures of their own. Her opinion is, that there are just no better stories than those that involve true life.


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Dedication

The Way to Go series is dedicated to all of the men and women I had the pleasure to work and have fun with in the travel business. The memories of that time and those friends helped to write these books. They were all a great group of people with different personalities, and from all over the globe with one big thing in common; a fascination with the world around us. We shared many good times and laughs when we got to together, when we traveled together, hilarity usually ensued. Some have moved on from travel like myself, and sadly, some are gone.  
Last, and not least at all is my little family. My very supportive husband, my loving son, and Willy the dog with the twitchy back leg.


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GIVEAWAY

a Rafflecopter giveaway


The tour dates can be found here

 
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My review:


3.5 stars

Way to Roll by Mandy Colton is the second book in the ‘Way to Go’ series.  This tongue-in-cheek adventure story features Veronica Lane who describes herself as kind of a “baby spy on training wheels” as she has several adventures that test her fortitude, skill, and heart while finding her niche at World Intelligence and Consulting.  Complicating her life are her erratic relationships with colleague Nash Presley and pilot Captain Cruz Rivera, who manage to confuse both her and themselves with their demands and expectations.  Veronica may not be the best agent yet, but she’s definitely gaining experience, if she can live long enough to benefit from it.

This story is a lighthearted twist on a spy adventure tale, but the main character is pretty accurate with her statement, “I make Maxwell Smart look like James Bond”.  There are plenty of wacky circumstances and some exciting scenarios but I think it would be better to read this series from the beginning, because there are allusions that are confusing and I suspect it’s because I don’t know the backstory.  I found it difficult to connect to the heroine, partly because her love life is so complicated and I’m not crazy about wishy-washy folks, and it was very irksome to have two characters blowing hot and cold.  The characters are fairly superficial, and the ‘secret’ organization is rapidly ceasing to be that secret, between the new recruits and the companions being informed because they are deemed trustworthy so there is plenty of room for the series to grow.  The dramatic climax and surprising ending heighten the madcap atmosphere and make this an entertaining light read that answers some questions but leaves plenty more to be addressed in future stories.

A copy of this title was provided to me for review


Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Adding Lib by Kathryn Elliott (VBT, guest post and GIVEAWAY) Goddess Fish Tours



It is my pleasure to have a guest post from one of the authors from the Wild Rose Press garden, Kathryn Elliott.



ELF:  What was the most difficult thing to overcome on your path to becoming a published author and how did you conquer it?



KE Every writer doubts their ability to capture an audience; it’s natural. The ‘will I sell’ illness is hard to shake, and stubborn to my Irish core it took lunch with my favorite college professor to cure my case of the lit jitters.

“It’s so good to see you, Kathryn. Tell me, what you have been doing the last 20 years?”

“Well, I’m married, have two rambunctious sons and write for several local newspapers.”

Dead silence.

“Professor?”

“I have to say, and I mean this with the utmost respect for your life choices, I expected much more from you.”

I’m speechless; an unheard of phenomena.

“You showed great promise. Where is the book you so often spoke of writing? Have you abandoned that dream?”

So, that’s what it feels like to be hit by a bus, I always wondered; nothing like having your role model sum up your professional life as slightly more than adequate. And yet, it was the kick in the rump I needed.

Here’s how my book journey began.

I talked to people, not email, not text, talked! People, like me, who write for a living. Not just those who dabble, but people who file 1099’s under the category of creative, in other words, poor. Although contracted, I still garner most my income as a freelancer, thus my circle of contacts within the writing realm was decent. Here’s their suggestions.

Lesson One: From my weekly editor: “For the love of God – Blog! I am so sick of you trying to interject humor into the police blotter! Get it out in cyber space and cut down on my red line time! And by the way, I need you to cover the senior art fair, make it sound exciting.”

Done.

Lesson Two: From local children’s book author: “Join a writers group. Try and find one more suited for your professional experience. Trust me, there are a lot of them out there full of people pushing their books with absolutely no writing experience and a lot of them still live in their mother’s basement and collect action figures. Choose wisely.”

Done.

Lesson Three: From my college professor: “Go back to school; education is a tool only sharp when kept active.”

Done.

Lesson Four: From a fellow almost-author: “Be prepared to fail, and fail often; no way to sugar coat it. This is not a career for the weak. Do you drink? If not, start.”

Done. (In spades.)

Lesson Five: From a helpful, but rightfully harsh literary agent: “Get some Beta readers to rip this thing to shreds. I don’t have time for this much work. (An ugly and eye-opening first draft critique after a contest win.) Don’t ask your Mom, sister or anyone who even likes you, in fact, get people who hate you. Do you have people who hate you? Don’t worry, if you write, you will.”

Done. (And may I say, ouch!)

Lesson Six: From my son: “Keep at it Mom, somebody will buy it.” Pause. “Do we have any Oreos?”

Done.

Lesson Seven: From the mirror: “Dust off the dream and hit that bucket list running! And buy Oreos.”

Thank you for hosting! I hope Adding Lib brings humor and a tug on the heartstrings!






Adding Lib

by Kathryn Elliott

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BLURB:

Libby O'Rourke has a short fuse. Her mother, Mae, carries a big match. Engulfed in the never-ending life-juggling of suburbia, Libby fails to notice Mae's emerging dementia symptoms until a kitchen fire puts the problem on the front burner.

Proficient in the art of denial, Mae brushes the shattering diagnosis aside and sets her sights on a matchmaking crusade for her eldest son. After all, if her lucid days are numbered, Mae’s going to make damned sure he makes it down the aisle while she still recognizes the groom.

It’s going to take a razor wit and an iron stomach to handle Mae's diagnosis. Thankfully, just like her mother Libby has both.



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EXCERPT

At three o’clock, excess wine and a bladder weakened by two pregnancies woke Libby from a sound sleep. She crept to the bathroom as quietly as two-hundred-year-old floor boards would allow and, on the way back, noticed the phone’s blinking message light.

“Crap.” Mae’s message taunted from the answering machine. “What to do?” she said to herself. “Check it, or go back to bed?” Years of maternally ingrained guilt won out as she pressed play.

“Hi Lib,” Mae’s recorded message played. “It’s your mother.”

“Color me surprised.” Libby groaned.

“I just got back from my visit with Dr. Cooper. You remember him, he removed Daddy’s planter’s wart.”

“TMI Mom, TMI.”

“Anyhow, he did a splendid job with my colon and said I had none of those dirty pollocks.”

“Polyps, unless you’ve got a ten-foot abstract in your small intestine.”

“You can watch now. Did you know that? They have a camera in your bum the whole time, fascinating really. Anyway, a few of my other test results were a bit off, and he wants me to see a neurologist for some silly reason. Nothing to worry about, just a little blip to check out. Anyhow, I need someone to take me for the appointment, and I was hoping you could find the time. If not, don’t worry, I’ll call your brother Sean. I’m sure he can drop anything less important than his mother.”

“Of course. He’s Jesus.” Libby’s eyes rolled.

“Take care, sweetie. Call me when you can, love to all.”

Libby replayed the message and returned to bed. Blip speculation haunted her dreams.


BUY LINKS:

The Wild Rose Press
Amazon

Nook
iBook

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AUTHOR Bio and Links:

Kathryn Elliott is a lifetime journalist with awards in political satire, human interest, and commentary. A Connecticut native, she is a happily married mother of two sons with high hopes one of them will pay for a delightful rest home.

A true believer in laughter's healing power, Kathryn writes characters whose flaws resonate with readers long after "The End."
Adding Lib is her debut novel, and the first in The McGinn Series.


FACEBOOK
TWITTER: @CandidKathryn
BLOG LINK
GOODREADS

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GIVEAWAY

Kathryn will be awarding a $25 Amazon or B/N GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour.

a Rafflecopter giveaway


Follow the tour and comment; the more you comment, the better your chances of winning. The tour dates can be found here

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Sizzle (adult title)

Sizzle       
by Darcy Lundeen is an ADULT title.

(FYI, this particular tale has a few sensual encounters but nothing particularly overt or kinky)


Before you go any further, please be advised that I was an editor for this story and one would naturally think this would cause me to have some personal bias.  Hopefully, those who read my reviews or who have dealt with me personally know that I don't let a personal relationship prevent me from telling someone that I was not too enamored of their story if they ask for my opinion.  (And yes, that has cost me relationships with authors occasionally)  I may decline to review it if I don't think I can speak highly of the work, but I don't praise a work if I don't really think it deserves it. That being said, I really enjoyed this tale from the first (of multiple times, lol) time that I read it!  I was even more vindicated when my supervisor told me that the proofreader asked if she could write a review as well and that was the first one she had offered to do that for.  I think it is difficult to give higher praise than this because we are assigned titles, not allowed to choose them for ourselves, and for us to voluntarily to spend even more time to want to get the word out means that we truly enjoyed something.

I think this author has a wonderfully fresh style, a discerning sense of humor and an ability to make a tale something that the reader can relate to.  Yes, the heroine is a little too forgiving and pretty naive but that gives her that larger-than-life quality and allows us to feel a little superior about 'how I would have done that' but I still adore the feel-good feeling that the HEA gives me when I read romances and this one did a great job of it for me.  I hope you like it as well and I welcome comments if you did or didn't...just tell me why you have your particular opinion.



This is a fun contemporary romance featuring a quirky heroine who has traditionally settled for whatever affection she can eke out from her romantic partners.  Convinced that she doesn’t have enough ‘sizzle’, she enlists the aid of the hunky lawyer who is rooming with her gay best friend and he enthusiastically agrees to ‘tutor’ her in discovering her sensual side.  Issues with her nosy neighbor, a miniature graffiti artist and her own lack of self-confidence make her quite a challenge to deal with, but Matt Pollard has rarely had such a delightful assignment, the only problem is that his own goals soon become much more challenging.


This entertaining and spicy tale of one woman’s quest to win back the man who dumped her in the middle of a crowded street is a wonderfully lighthearted romance filled with mistaken assumptions and humorous situations.  Several potential cliches are tweaked as the insecure woman slowly blossoms under the tutelage of a man who appreciates her for the wonderfully sexy person she is and she relaxes under the misapprehension that he poses no threat to her heart.  The secondary challenges that are faced and the creative solutions that the heroine comes up with add to the warmth of the tale plus the sensual journey that she embarks upon makes this a fun and delicious read.

(submitted to Night Owl reviews)